I Really Hate It When I Hate It

I’ve been working on making a new Glittermoon Vintage Christmas Topiary.

It’s not going well.  In fact, I’m hating it.  The idea was to try something a little different and come up with something that would be less pricey, too. I started with this vintage USA green glass vase, a topiary form, and some vintage garland.  So far so good.Then I started adding ornaments in a traditional Christmas palette of red, green, gold, and silver.  And I have added a couple of little Santa’s and tiny bottlebrush trees, too.  

Not too bad but I’m not feeling the love, honestly.

Several hours, a bunch of ornies, and gold beaded garland later, I should be finished.  But I hate it.

It’s.  Just.  Not.  Good.

I’m a card-carrying perfectionist and I despise turning out work that does not come up to scratch.  My super-ego is kicking in and kicking my butt. I go off and leave it for a while hoping that when I come back it will look better.  I come back.  It doesn’t.  I fiddle some more, add some more stuff, and leave it again.  Over and over.  I take a break for a couple of days and design some new cards.  It still doesn’t look good.  By now, I have enough time and $$ invested that my original idea of a less pricey piece is pretty well shot to hell.  But how can I charge a lot of money for something so….bad?

This is honestly the first Vintage Christmas piece that has given me this kind of a fit.  All the other ones have been creations that excited me as they went along and I loved them.  Like the one I made for Scott in Texas.  I would certainly hit rough patches when I felt that I had taken a wrong turn but by the time I had put the cherry on the top I loved them.  That’s important to me.  Before I put my name on anything – be it a card, photograph, or one of these – I like to be proud of it.

But you know, it finally occurred to me that this is one of those little life challenges where you need to decide if it is worth all the angst – or not.  I’m thinking that if I try to let go of my attachment to a perfect outcome things may just fall into place.  (My yoga teacher would be so proud of me.)

I believe I’m going to put this one on the back burner for a bit and start on a new wreath.  I’ll let you know when or if I finish the Topiary from Hell.